Don't Let Go Read online

  We make our way down and out of the library. Grant doesn’t touch me or stand close. He doesn’t ask me about Brady or tell me to watch out with him like he did prior. I’m starting to think a friendship between us could be possible.

  Halfway to the Math building, we pass Vodka Vince and I have never seen him awake before. He still looks disheveled and unkempt but alert nonetheless. Brady’s words of caution ring through my head. Grant grabs my elbow and leads me to the other side of the walkway so we don’t pass directly by him. I glance over and give Grant a dirty look but follow his lead.

  “Heya, Grant,” Vodka Vince speaks low to him. I look over, confused.

  “Hi,” Grant responds, giving him a small wave of his hand and continues walking.

  “You know him?” I ask.

  “Doesn’t everyone?” he questions in return.

  “But he knew your name, Grant.”

  “Sometimes I leave him things.” He shrugs his shoulders.

  “That’s nice,” I admit. What a different perspective than Brady.

  “I guess.” He doesn’t show a reaction, obviously assuming everyone else does it. “Here you go.” Grant stops at the bottom steps, suddenly ready to get rid of me.

  “Thanks again. I owe you one,” I graciously thank him.

  “Maybe next time, dinner?” he asks.

  “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” The chills hit my body before he places his hand on the small of my back and leans in to kiss me on the cheek. “Hey, baby.” Brady tugs me closer to him.

  “Hi, Brady.” I allow him to be a little possessive of me before stepping away.

  “So, you two are…” Grant says, annoyed.

  “Together? Yes,” Brady confirms, finishing his sentence. His smile is smug and big as he puts his hand on my hip, bringing me to him. This domineering behavior Brady portrays makes me upset and pleased at the same time.

  Grant appears uncomfortable with the whole situation. He isn’t taking a defensive stance back at Brady, instead he keeps his distance. It’s odd behavior, almost sadness in Grant’s eyes as he quickly glances between the two of us.

  “Well, good luck, Sadie. See you around,” Grant says quietly and puts his head down, walking down the path before I can thank him.

  “I will have to keep a better eye on you. First Vodka Vince and then that douchebag.” Brady puts his arm around me and walks me into the building.

  “Brady, what was all that about?” I question, clearly irritated.

  “He’s a fucking frat boy. I don’t trust him.” He stops outside my door and I wonder how he knew I had a class, let alone the exact classroom.

  “I think he’s nice and I consider him a friend. Do you think you could be nice?” He has me leaned against the wall, enveloping me with his arms above my head.

  “Sadie, let’s get something straight. I’m not one of those domineering guys.” I smirk, looking up at him and he grins down to me. “Well…not until I met you. I know what guys like him want and what he imagines in his head and I don’t like it.” His mouth is so close to mine, I can feel the warmth of his breath against my lips.

  “He’s just a friend,” I argue.

  “Maybe to you, but to him you are a conquest and believe me, he won’t stop until he gets you.” He lightly kisses the side of my mouth.

  “Brady, this is way too much drama before an exam.” I stay firmly against the wall and place my fingers under the waistband of his jeans, pulling him into me.

  “Let me relax you,” he whispers and comes willingly. He keeps his arms above my head, moving his head down to my mouth. Usually any form of affection in front of a group of people embarrasses me. A year ago this incident would have had me ducking under Brady’s arm, running into the safety of my classroom. As he captures my upper lip between his, I find myself not caring who sees our display. He never lets his arms fall down, pinning me against the wall only with his lower body. I can barely keep my feet planted on the ground; they want to betray me and wrap around his taut stomach. I want him to grab my ass with both hands and carry me into some vacant room to have his way with me. But before my body deceives me, Brady pulls away.

  “Good luck, baby!” He leans down one more time and gives me a kiss right next to my ear. “You look absolutely gorgeous today.” He turns me around and gently nudges me toward the door and then walks the opposite direction down the hall.

  I fumble into my room which is filled with mostly freshman. I see the stares and whispers around me. Oh shit, I don’t think my body can hold off much longer. Thoughts of him in bed make me so aroused, I can feel the burn inside of me. I sit down at my desk and take a deep breath, willing myself to concentrate on Algebra but Brady continues to fill my imagination. His scent is so strong I would swear he is sitting next to me if I didn’t know better.

  Walking back to the dorm, I feel confident with my exam. I definitely didn’t ace it, but I most likely achieved a B. Next time I see Grant, I will have to thank him. When I get to the hill, I stop in my tracks. Vodka Vince is sitting on a park bench with a middle-aged woman. She’s dressed in a nice black pants suit and heels. They are eating sandwiches and I notice the woman is doing most of the talking while he eats. I can’t explain why Vodka Vince piques my curiosity but I take a seat on a nearby bench and pull my phone out, pretending I’m checking my e-mails.

  The woman is strikingly beautiful with short blonde hair styled so that every piece is in its specified place. Her long legs are crossed facing Vince, and I haven’t seen her stop talking the whole time. She talks with her hands, constantly touching his arms, hands, or legs. I can’t figure out if she is someone that is like that with everyone or if she has such a close relationship with him, it’s just second nature to her. Vince doesn’t acknowledge her except for a minute here or there. Otherwise, he stares over at her like he is trying to figure out why she is sitting with him.

  After ten minutes, their sandwiches are finished. The blonde woman starts taking the sandwich wrappers, placing them in the bag. I see her dig in her purse and she hands Vince a couple of bills. He takes them from her and says thank you. With a small tap on his knee with her hand, she says goodbye and kisses his cheek. Vince stays sitting there staring out to the open field, appearing lost. It is getting colder outside and I hope he uses that money she gave him for a coat, but I realize it will most likely go to vodka.

  I stand up to make my way to the dorm. My heart starts beating faster when I’m about to pass him. I could kill Brady for bringing these thoughts into my head. Willing myself to calm down and take a breath, I glance at a smiling Vince and nod my head.

  “Heya,” Vince’s deep voice says as I walk by.

  “Hi,” I respond, my voice a couple octaves higher than normal. I give him a small wave and continue walking.

  “Are you Grant’s girl?” he asks, making me stop.

  I turn around, shocked that I’m about to have a conversation with him. Brady would kill me right about now. “Oh…no, I have a boyfriend,” I admit.

  “That’s good to hear.” The smile that forms across his lips is wide and genuine. I smile back, unsure what to say as he continues to stare out to the open field, satisfied with the end of our conversation so I turn around and make my way back to the dorm.

  When I reach my door, I can hear the music on the other side. This is a common occurrence when Jessa has a guy in the room, or if she’s just happy. The last thing I want to see is Rob’s ass in the air, grinding into her on top of her loft. The visual alone makes me nauseous. I slowly put my hand on the doorknob like I was taught if there was a fire on the other side. I know I should just turn away but I turn it gradually so if Rob is in there, I can shut the door quickly and flee to the common area. I peek through the small opening and then continue opening it all the way when I discover Jessa dancing all around the room, waving a scarf like one of those ballerinas with the ribbons. She turns around and finds me staring at her, and I quickly try to shut my mouth.

  “Guess w
hat, Sadie?” she screams over the music and runs over to me, grasping my arms with both her hands.

  “What?” I ask in return, still shaking the image of Jessa dancing around the room out of my head. In the months I have known her, she has never been this chipper.

  “Rob asked me to go home with him for Thanksgiving.” I feel my mouth already turn down into a frown but swiftly attempt to lift it up. My hatred for Rob shouldn’t interfere with my happiness for Jessa.

  “That’s nice,” I say, closing the door behind me. I walk over to the stereo to turn it down a little.

  “I can’t believe it. I mean…I thought…well, you know what guys usually want. I thought for sure once I let him have the boom boom,” she says, pointing down to her private area just so I understand what she is talking about, as though I wouldn’t, “he would be on to the next girl.” She flops herself into her chair.

  “I’m happy for you. Won’t your parents be upset that you aren’t going home?” I ask, knowing there is no way I could get away with something like that.

  “They understand that I don’t want to go back there, plus it’s such a short break. I’ll see them at Christmas. Maybe Rob will want to come home with me.” She quietly contemplates that thought and I envy the smile on her face.

  “You really like him, huh?” I hope the disgust is concealed in my voice.

  “I do, Sadie. He has completely kicked my ass, in a good way,” she laughs. “When it’s just me and him, he is so sweet and considerate. I’ve never had that, Sadie. I’ve never had a guy who puts my needs before his. You probably don’t understand; the guys you usually date probably buy you diamonds and flowers.” I forgot that under that hard exterior, Jessa is just a typical girl.

  “Not really,” I shrug. I don’t tell her that the guys I date open the door for me when other people are around and always bring me flowers so people can see them, but when we are alone they have only been worried about one thing. I’m not ready to share with her that when Brady left the show last week and put something of his on hold to spend time with me, that was a first in my life.

  “So, what’s going on with you and Brady? I heard the guys walked in on you two getting hot and heavy in the studio.” She beams over at me.

  “Things are…good…great, actually. I really like him,” I admit.

  “So…have you hit it? Because an ass like that is made for grabbing.”

  “Jessa!” I scream. “No, we haven’t. I’m not ready yet.” It surprises me how easy it is talking to her.

  “Sadie, can I ask you a question without you getting offended?” her voice lowers and I hope this isn’t about my secret.

  I nod over at her.

  “Are you a virgin?” Her hazel eyes peer over at me through her eyelashes and I can’t help but laugh.

  “No. Is that what you think? Oh god, Brady probably thinks that, too.” A heat wave hits me as guilt erupts in my stomach. That’s what Brady meant when he said he wouldn’t rush me. Oh Jesus, what am I supposed to do? How do I tell him I’m the furthest thing from that?

  “Really? You can tell me, Sadie, I won’t tell anyone.” Jessa puts her hand on my knee.

  “I promise you, Jessa, I’m not a virgin. Actually…” I want to tell her. I miss my girlfriends. The gossip sessions, girls’ nights out. I need a friend right now, someone’s advice on a boy who has me so wrapped around his finger, it makes it hard to breathe without him around. Pushing my worry aside, I finally tell her, “I have slept with a lot of guys, Jessa.”

  “You have?” From her reaction, you would have thought I just told her my dad is the president.

  “Yeah. I’m afraid to tell Brady. It’s killing me keeping him at arm’s length. We’ve only kissed.”

  “He won’t care.” She waves it off.

  “I’m afraid he will run, especially now that you asked if I’m a virgin. I think he probably assumes I never have as well, and here I’m going to tell him I slept with half the male population at Drayton.”

  “Sadie, you do know that boy is crazy about you, right? Even Rob told me he has never seen Brady like this over anyone. Anyone, Sadie.” Oh, I’ve missed how girlfriends can make you feel so good.

  “I’m sure Rob hates that.”

  “Who gives a shit what Rob says. I’m not sure what his problem with you is, but I’m going to find out.”

  “I worry he won’t wait that long, but it scares me that even if he accepts it, it will only be to sleep with me and then he will be gone. I don’t think I can handle that, Jessa. He came into my life so unexpectedly but honestly, I can’t imagine it without him now.”

  “Oh, Sadie. Someone did a number on you, too,” she says. Her eyes are so empathetic it makes me want to cry for myself. “Trust him, Sadie. I know it’s hard to put yourself out there, but it might be just what you need to find happiness.” She remains quiet for a few minutes as I mull over what she is saying. “Just think about it. Brady is one of the good ones, Sadie.” She stands up. “Now let’s go gorge ourselves on the desserts.”

  “Jessa?” I get up from the chair, waiting for her to turn around. “Thank you.”

  “Sadie, I consider you my best friend. I know it’s unconventional and we appear to be complete opposites and we’ve only known each other for a couple months, but I can already see our similarities. Fate must have brought us both here to help each other heal.” She actually reaches out and hugs me. Surprise doesn’t even explain how stunned I am.

  “Jessa, if I didn’t know better…”

  “Did you think I was a selfish bitch or something?” She laughs and opens our dorm door. I follow her, happy to have her as a friend. Years ago I would have made fun of her, snickering behind her back. Jessa was probably never a selfish bitch like I was.

  Chapter 12

  Fall is in full force by the time Halloween comes around. On my way to Brady’s, I pass college kids in droves, dressed up in costumes. The Invisibles are playing at Ace’s tonight, but Brady and I have opted out of wearing costumes. The last few weeks have been amazing. I talk to him at least ten times on any given day. He takes me on dates and we meet at the Student Center for lunch. I have even divulged to him my lack of math skills so he is my new tutor, making the reward system that much better when I get an answer right or score high on a test. Let’s just say, I have extra incentives to study harder.

  Hands have roamed while our lips are locked. Brady freely smacks my ass when I walk by and never hesitates to take me into his arms. The awkwardness that a new relationship brings has been replaced by the calm security of knowing that he is mine and vice-versa. But the butterflies still run rapid in my body when Brady even grazes my body.

  We haven’t slept together yet, literally or figuratively. Tonight might change all that. I packed an overnight bag, just in case I’m brave enough to face this. Brady has been patient, never rushing or pushing the limits, letting me take the lead. I’m trying to take Jessa’s advice and put my trust in him. God knows he deserves it.

  I ring the doorbell since the other three guys live here and I don’t feel comfortable just walking in. I hear the big footsteps before Dex opens the door. “Hey Sadie, come on in.” He moves aside and lets me through the door.

  “I like it,” I compliment his green painted body with purple ripped pants and no shirt. He definitely has the body to pull off The Hulk. My eyes rest on his stomach, trying to count the number of grooves. Is there such a thing as an eight pack?

  “Thanks, the guys made it easy. Brady’s upstairs.” He sprints down the basement steps, I assume to get the instruments.

  The house still amazes me. Do they hire a cleaning lady like the frat houses? Every time I come here, there isn’t one speck of dust anywhere. Not even on all the oak railings going upstairs. Brady’s door is closed when I get up there, so I knock softly.

  He opens the door and I bust out laughing before walking in. He is dressed in a pair of khaki’s with a crease down the middle of each leg and a polo shirt with a sweater tied
around his neck. His brown hair resembles a pop star, parted to the side while long layers cover his right eye. He could model for Ralph Lauren on a yacht in the Hamptons the way he looks.

  “Nice.” I turn my head up to him, confused.

  “First off…” He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me into him, shutting the door behind me. His lips find mine in two point two seconds, exploring my mouth. If this is the start of the night, I have no hope of making it back to my dorm later. As sudden as his lips find mine, they disappear. “You trust me right?” He smirks down at me and my stomach turns into knots with the possible intentions of that question. “I got you a costume.” Relief washes over me until I see where he’s pointing.

  On the bed is a neatly folded pile of black clothes. A pair of red Doc Martens boots rest on the floor at the edge of the bed. I can’t imagine what is in that pile. “I thought we weren’t doing costumes?” I ask, picking up a black tank top from the stack.

  “It’s Halloween, we have to dress up, Sadie. Funny, right? It’s like we are the opposites of who we are.” He plops his body on the bed and rests his head in his hand, staring over at me.

  “I guess so. I think my naughty witch and sexy nurse costumes had more fabric than this.” I hold out the fishnet stockings he has bought me.

  “You can’t blame me, can you?” When he turns that right side of his lips up, I know I will be wearing it.

  “Well…leave and I will change.” I wave my hand to the door.

  “Come on, baby! I will turn my back. I don’t want to miss one second of you in that outfit.”

  “Fine, turn around,” I reluctantly agree, twisting my finger in a circle and Brady turns his back to me, facing his headboard. Leaving my eyes locked on his back, I take off my black boots and skinny jeans. I’m thankful I wore a nice black panty and bra set tonight on the off chance Brady would be peeling them off me.