Don't Let Go Read online

  By the time I’m finished dressing, I have to admit Brady did a good job. Short black mini shirt with a black tank top and a red shirt that has a wide neckline exposing a bare shoulder. The black fishnets run down my legs ending in a bright red pair of boots. This might be the sexiest outfit I have ever worn. Definitely the most revealing.

  Straightening out the skirt with both hands, I tell Brady he can turn around. I stare down at myself, taking deep breaths with the hope I can pull this outfit off. My eyes look up at him and in the whole time I have been with him, he has never possessed this look. So much heat radiates from his eyes as they roam up and down my body, I think he could ignite me into flames with the fire that fills his eyes. His desire is like nothing I have seen or felt in my life.

  “Jesus, Sadie.” I see his Adam’s apple rise up and dip back down. “I’m speechless. You’re gorgeous…you’re sexy…you’re so fucking perfect.” In two steps he is in front of me. Without my heels, he towers at least a foot over me. “You have no idea how hard it is for me not to grab you and throw you down on my bed right now. It’s taking every ounce of self-restraint I have to be this close to you and not be inside of you.” He hasn’t touched me but we are so close, our breaths rise and fall at the same rate. For the first time, I see small green specks in his brown eyes as they bore into mine.

  “Would you want me to dress like this all the time?” I can’t help but feel he would prefer me to be more his style.

  “No. I would never want you to change, Sadie.” His voice is steady. “I like my little preppy girl,” he says, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

  “Promise?” I display my own insecurity with our differences.

  “I promise.” He rests his hands on either side of my face. “I hope I don’t have to beat too many guys’ asses tonight.” He brings his lips close to mine but I slightly push him away and he looks at me, puzzled.

  “Brady, no fights,” I say sternly.

  “Alright, no fights,” he jokes.

  “I’m serious, Brady. I hate fights.” I start to pull away but he grabs me back.

  “Okay, Sadie. I won’t.” His voice is serious now and I trust that he knows how serious I am. “Please let me kiss you now.” He gradually brings my face to his.

  After The Invisibles finish playing, they decide to go celebrate with all the other students down Main Street, where all the bars and clubs are. The streets are packed from building to building with drunken students dressed in some of the most absurd costumes. When we left Brady’s, I thought I was dressed slutty but some of these girls take the cake. Trey cat-calls over to a group of four girls dressed as beer cans made out of duct tape, causing them to giggle and wave over to him as they stick their chests out a little more.

  One guy passes us only wearing a pizza box around his downtown area. Brady jokingly covers my eyes, bringing me closer to him. I guess he hasn’t figured out yet that he is the only one I want to look at. The image of him wearing just a pizza box makes my body tingle in all the right places.

  Dex stops us at a small corner bar. Surprisingly, there aren’t a ton of people in here. I guess everyone would rather party in the streets. Even with Brady keeping my body firming against his, we were pushed and knocked around just walking the three blocks to get here.

  Trey walks over to the girl bartender behind the bar and embraces her in a hug. She appears thrilled to see him, as she wraps her arms around his neck and playfully smacks his back when he lifts her off the ground. Then he whispers something in her ear and she smiles and shoos him away.

  Dex leads us to a long table in the back of the bar. When we take our seats, I’m happily situated between Brady and Trey. Rob is thankfully down by Dex with Jessa across from me. Crossing my legs, I pull my skirt down a little bit but it won’t budge, resting higher than mid-thigh.

  “Don’t try to pull that down on the account of me,” Trey jokes while staring at my legs.

  “Back off my girl, Trey.” Brady places his arm across my lap and positions his hand on the top of my right thigh.

  “Don’t get all paranoid, Carsen. I was just admiring.” Trey grabs the pitcher and pours himself a beer.

  “Go admire someone else’s girl.” Brady scoots his chair a little closer and pulls the table over our legs. His tone isn’t the same as it was with Grant, which tells me he isn’t threatened by Trey but he is with Grant. I can’t shake the feeling that Grant and Brady had been close at one time and I’m curious what happened to that relationship.

  “So, Gucci, you ready to drink like a real girl?” Rob screams over to me and my body automatically tenses. “Girls that dress like you tonight take down shots.”

  “Leave her alone, Rob,” Jessa shouts over to him but he ignores her and walks up to the bar.

  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Sadie,” Brady whispers in my ear while he massages my thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

  “I just want to shut him up, once and for all,” I admit.

  “Let me settle this. I will tell him to go to hell.” Brady gets up to leave the table.

  “No, I will fight my own battle, Brady. Sit down.” My voice is sterner than I intend it to be.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He sits back down and resumes rubbing my thigh. “I like this feisty side of you.” He leans in close.

  Rob comes back with a round of Jack Daniels. Placing the tray down on the table, he passes them out, positioning one right in front of me.

  “Let’s go, princess.” He knocks his glass against mine and the dark liquid spills over onto the table.

  “You can call me Gucci, Chanel, or whatever the hell you want, except that.” I tip the shot glass back, downing it like it’s water. I don’t cough or chase it down.

  “You surprise me, Gucci. You want another?” Rob doesn’t wait for my answer, he just walks back over to the bar where Trey is now flirting with the bartender.

  “Sadie, what are you doing?” Jessa asks quietly across the table.

  “Just wait, I can handle this,” I reassure her.

  Rob comes over again with only two more shots, one for me and one for him.

  “Cheers, Gucci.” He clinks my drink again and I down it just as fast as the first. This one goes down even easier.

  Fifteen minutes later, the shots start to hit my body. My lips are tingling and I’m feeling more relaxed. Trey is with the bartender and Dex found a table of girls who seem to be counting his abs. It’s just the four of us: me, Brady, Jessa and Rob. After the showdown of drinks and name callings, Rob has shut his mouth and is paying more attention to Jessa. They are wrapped tightly around each other, having their own private conversation. I still think Rob is an asshole, but the way he lights Jessa up forces me have the tiniest of soft spots for him.

  Brady hasn’t stopped caressing my leg all night and suddenly all I can concentrate on is his thumb making slow, gentle circles on my thigh, burning through me like the smoldering embers of a fire. His fingers inch further up to the hem of my skirt and they skim just under as his palm stays on top of my skirt. My breath hitches in my throat and I stretch my arm out, massaging the back of his neck, letting my fingers play in his soft brown hair.

  He inches his chair closer so we are hip to hip and thigh to thigh. He bends down and kisses my neck. “I want you so bad right now,” he whispers, sending chills up my back.

  “And…I want you,” I whisper in return. As though I just gave him permission, Brady’s fingers make their way between my legs, inching closer to my panties. I can barely breathe as my heart starts racing with the anticipation of his fingers finding their destination.

  My eyes close automatically with the slightest brush of his fingers on the outside of my silk panties. His fingers tease me for a few minutes before he pushes my lace thong to the side, allowing his fingers to slip between me, revealing how wet I already am.

  His lips meet mine and absorb my moan as he plunges two fingers into me. I place my hand on his shoulder, begging
him to keep his hand in place. Our tongues explore every part of the other’s and Brady’s lips become more aggressive as he forces his fingers in and out of me. Right when I can’t take it anymore, his thumb finds my clit. He rubs it in small circles and I release the buildup that Brady instilled in me. Unfortunately, it does nothing to fully satisfy me. I know I need him in me, NOW.

  Thankfully, the music has gotten louder and more people have found their way into the small bar, so people most likely assume we are just making out. To me, it is him and me and no one else is in this room, but when his fingers make their way out of me, emptiness consumes me.

  Pulling his lips off mine, the smirk across Brady’s face makes me grin back, turning a slight shade of pink. “That was the hottest thing I have ever experienced,” he whispers so no one else hears him.

  I slowly nod my head, agreeing with Brady when Rob’s obnoxious voice fills my ears. I roll my eyes and Brady laughs.

  “Hey, Frat Boy and Joan Jet. Break it up. Another round.” He places two more shots in front of us. Brady pushes it back to him and Rob pushes it to me in return.

  “Weak, Frat Boy. You take his shot, JJ.” I look at the dark liquid in the two shots, taking one in hand and bringing it to my mouth. The smell is nauseating me now. All I want to do is go home with Brady and have him burn through me instead of this alcohol, but I’m not about to step away and lose my footing with Rob. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol giving me that liquid courage I would see Theo get, but I’ve had enough of Rob’s mouth and I just want him to shut it.

  “Alright, so if I down these two shots, I don’t want to hear any more names. This will be our truce. I’m sick of it, Rob. I know you perceive me one way but that’s not me…at least not anymore.” I lean over the table and look right in his eyes.

  “Okay…truce. I still think you are going to break my boy’s heart when your daddy finds out, but if you down those two shots, I promise never to call you Princess, Gucci or any other goddamn names. On one condition though.” He puts up his finger. “No throwing up. You throw up and the bet is off.” He takes Jessa’s shot from her. “We do them together,” he finishes spouting his terms and raises his shot glass to me.

  I glance over at Brady who is all smiles, probably hoping the drama will be over between me and Rob. I stare right at Brady as I tip the glass to my lips and down it with the hope he knows I’m doing this for him.

  “One down Guc...Sadie,” Rob says, stopping himself. That might be the first time I have heard my name cross his lips. Picking up his second shot, he holds it out for us to click glasses. Jessa smiles up at us as I clink Rob’s glass. I let it run down my throat, happily not feeling the burn any longer.

  “Done.” I slam my glass down on the table. “We will see you all later.” I grab Brady’s hand and yank him up from the seat. His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, but he slowly follows me away from the table.

  “Remember my room is right next door. When I get home, I don’t want to hear any ‘Oh God, Sadie’ or ‘Fuck Me, Brady’,” Rob’s voice bellows throughout the bar, but I ignore him.

  The night has turned cold by the time we make it outside. The streets have emptied slightly but now the fellow partiers are stumbling down sidewalks, throwing up on curbsides, and practically having sex on park benches.

  “Where are we going?” Brady stops me just outside, cornering me against the building.

  “Back to your place,” I answer, attempting to give him my most flirtatious eyes.

  “Sadie, you have no idea how bad I want to sleep with you. Especially after what just happened in there. I still haven’t come down from that, but you have been drinking and when we have our first time, I don’t want anything between us. I want to know every moan is pure ecstasy of you feeling me. When you scream my name, I want you to be completely sober.” Brady leans in, kissing me briefly before backing away. “I still want you in my bed tonight. I want to wrap my arms around you, hold you close to my chest, and feel your heartbeat against mine.” My knees go weak but Brady holds me firm, not allowing me to collapse onto the sidewalk. “Come on, let’s go.” Intertwining our fingers, he leads me down the road toward his car.

  The walk is taking forever and I feel like a pinball between Brady and every object on my right, bouncing back and forth. I don’t remember the walk taking this long and the farther we go, the more tired I’m becoming. My feet hurt and these boots are so heavy. I pull my hand out of Brady’s and take a seat on the curb, leaning against a wrought iron trash can. My eyes droop and I can’t fight it any longer, I just want to sleep.

  Big arms pick me up and I nuzzle my head in his neck. That light scent of his cologne and the feel of his crisp linen shirt tell me I’m safe. My arm stretches across his broad shoulders while my hand rests on his neckline, touching his hair. He always takes care of me, he’s forever my protector. “I love you, Theo,” I mumble before everything goes black.

  Chapter 13

  The first thing I feel is the dryness of my mouth, as if I just walked a mile in the Sahara Desert without water. Peeking an eye open, I try to decipher my surroundings. Oh shit, I did it again. A guitar rests against the wall in the corner, some band posters fill the walls. It’s oddly clean and thankfully no foul smell hits me, otherwise I’m pretty sure I would be running into the bathroom. Then I see the leather jacket hanging off the chair…Brady.

  A breath releases from my mouth, realizing that I’m in Brady’s room. I feel safe now. Then his words from last night hit me so I stare down at myself. I’m fully dressed although my skirt has risen a little higher, stopping just below my ass.

  Brady isn’t next me, or even in the room. In fact, it looks like I slept in this bed all by myself. Sadness automatically hits me. This is the way I always wake up, alone. I thought Brady was different, but he didn’t even have to sleep with me to not want me the next morning. I sit up and see the water bottle next to my bed with two aspirin. At least he left me a goodbye gift. I put the two white pills in my mouth and unsnap the water bottle. I let the water fill my mouth, swallowing the pain relievers. The cold water tastes so good, I continue drinking it and before I realize, it’s empty and I want about ten more bottles.

  My clothes are neatly folded on his chair where I left them last night. I strip down from my rocker clothes and replace them on the chair, changing into my jeans and sweater. I pick up and smell Brady’s leather jacket one last time before I make my secret retreat. I’m going to miss him.

  I know this act well, carrying my shoes in my hand as I tiptoe down the stairs. The sound of every step bounces off the walls of the quiet house. When I get to the bottom, I make the turn down the hallway to go through the kitchen to go out the back door. The aroma of the coffee hits me when I’m about to walk into the large kitchen. Shit, Shit, Shit. I freeze in the doorway. Brady is standing in front of the counter, facing the stove in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. The blue plaid pants rest low on his hips and the strands of his hair are going every which way. God, he is sexy as hell.

  I turn around, making my way to the front door instead. I hope he won’t see me out the kitchen window when I walk along the side of the house to my car.

  “Sadie.” His gravelly voice hits my ears and I close my eyes, willing the tears away as they threaten just below my eyelids.

  I turn around to face him. “Good morning, Brady. Thank you for last night. I guess…” I have to swallow before saying my last words. “See you around,” I quietly say, giving a wave of my hand.

  “Come have breakfast with me before you go,” he requests and I feel his body right against mine. If I turn around, my face will practically touch his chest. Those damn tears are prying to let loose. I can’t have breakfast with him; he is different than the others.

  “I need to get going, I have a paper to work on,” I lie and keep my back to him. Then he rests his hands on my shoulders and one lone tear falls down my face.

  “What’s wrong, Sadie?” His voice is so quiet and emp
athetic, I would swear he knows already.

  “Why do you want me to stay, Brady?” I hear my voice shake, praying he doesn’t.

  “Isn’t it obvious? You’re my girlfriend.” With that, he swings me around and sees my face. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asks. He pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms.

  The tears come like rain. Actually, the sounds coming from the back of my throat probably sound like gasps of wind that flow through the air before a tornado hits its mark. I clutch onto the back of his shirt and his hand slowly brushes my hair.

  “Shh, baby. Whatever it is, we will figure it out together.” His soothing voice brings a feeling of safety. I step back a little, but stay entwined with him.

  “You don’t understand, Brady. I have to tell you something and I’m pretty sure after I do, you’ll want me to leave,” I confess, taking a deep breath while biting my lower lip.

  “Come have coffee and we’ll talk.” Brady is silent while he heads to the kitchen. After he pours two cups of coffee, he turns back around. I follow him down the stairs to the studio. “I was afraid we would be interrupted if we stayed in the kitchen.”

  I take a seat in one of the brown leather chairs but Brady stands in front of me with his hand out. “What?” I ask.

  “I want you by me. Whatever you have to tell me, I want to be able to touch and reassure you that nothing changes for me.” I put my hand in his and he leads me to the couch. Stretching my legs over his thighs, he stares at me and I know this is the time. I can’t hide from my past any longer.

  “This morning when I woke up…I thought you were done with me, that you wanted me to leave.” I keep my head down so he doesn’t notice my tear-stricken face. If I let him see how badly he hurt me, it will just make it worse.

  “Last night was,” he starts to speak before he takes a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair, “complicated.” He sips his coffee, then turns to me again. “It took all my willpower not to stay next to you last night, but that didn’t mean I wanted you to sneak out of my house this morning.”