Let Me Love Read online

  I attempt to wait patiently until Professor Hodges dismisses us, but as soon as he says, “See you Friday,” I’m out of my chair, weaving through the throng of students to reach her. By the time, I’m at where she was sitting, she’s gone.

  “Kailey,” I call out up the stairs, but she keeps ascending, so I excuse myself bumping into people, taking the steps as fast as my feet allow. By the time I flee the classroom, I look left and right, finding the hallway is filled with students coming and going. I bust open the doors of the building, but she’s nowhere to be seen.

  Tossing my backpack on a bench, I sit down and drop my head in my hands. Screw this. Fuck her. I’m done with all these games she’s playing. Swinging my pack over my shoulder, I stand up to make my way to my next class. When I raise my head, those green eyes are peering right at me.

  “Hi,” she says, swallowing an obvious lump in her throat.

  “Hi,” I respond. Just like that, all the anger dissipates from me.

  “How have you been?” she asks and her oblivious remark makes the anger come roaring back to life. How the hell does she think I’ve been?

  “Fine,” I lie. Why should she get some benefit of knowing the truth? “You?”

  She nods her head. “Good,” she adds.

  Isn’t that just fucking fantastic. “Good.” I tip back on my heels, waiting for her. I’m finished with making all the moves. I’m sick of begging her.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called. I told you my life is busy,” she says, and I shrug in indifference to her obvious ignorance.

  “Well, I can’t say you didn’t warn me,” I tell her.

  “Trey, it’s complicated.” She sticks to her same damn excuses.

  “Tell me then, Kailey,” I plead with her.

  She leans in to me, and I smell that apple scent of her shampoo. “I should have called,” she admits, ignoring my question.

  “Yes, you should have,” I say, unconsciously, wrapping my one arm around her body.

  “Do you have another class?” she asks me, and I wish I didn’t.

  “I did,” I wrap my other arm around her, pulling her against me, “but if you don’t, my scheduled just freed up.”

  “I have to work, do you want to walk me?” she asks, inviting me along.

  “Love to,” I say and grab her hand.

  Kailey tells me she works at the Parking Services. “So, you’re the one who leaves those yellow envelopes on my windshield?”

  She laughs. “No, I’m just the dispatcher. I swear I never leave the office,” she reveals with a giggle. I missed the sound of her laughter.

  We walk through campus hand in hand, joking and talking like we did in Colorado. Either this girl suffers from a major multiple personality disorder or something has her all screwed up. She does admit she was embarrassed to tell me we were in a class together, since I didn’t recognize her. If she thinks she’s embarrassed, I feel like a jackass for not noticing the most beautiful girl in the room. The fact I looked over her to another girl depresses me. Once we make it to the Parking Service’s office door, she places her arms around my neck and nudges my head down to her.

  My lips brush against hers, and she sticks her tongue into my mouth this time. As gentle as I try to go, she’s fierce and meets me more urgently. Going more with her flow, I press her up against the wall, leaving my hands on her hips. Thrusting myself against her, she gasps feeling the hardness through my jeans. This is the moment, I wish we could be alone. Hell, the bathroom sounds good right now. She devours my mouth, and I savor her taste as we continue to make out, right outside the door to her job. “Oh, Trey,” she murmurs against my lips before I descend on her again, never having enough.

  When I draw the kiss to a close, I rest my forehead on hers, and her fingers rub up and down on the back of my neck. I’ve never felt so satisfied but starved all at the same time. It’s like one square of chocolate, who doesn’t want more after just one taste.

  “Are you really going to call me this time?” I ask her, and she smiles up at me.

  “I promise, lover boy,” she attempts the nickname thing again.

  “Nope, you really aren’t good with nicknames, are you?” I ask her, and she giggles.

  “I guess not, but I’ll find a good one, one of these times,” she assures me.

  “All righty, well, get in there, girl.” I smack her ass, and she jolts up in shock, but her smile remains intact.

  “Bye, Tre-bear.” She laughs.

  “Keep on thinking,” I say, bending down and giving her one more kiss.

  “I’ll surprise you soon enough.”

  “Surprise me Friday and come to my show,” I ask, already planning to give my rehearsed plea.

  “Okay,” she agrees with no hesitation. Jackpot.

  “Really?” My eyes bulge out of my head. “I mean, great, I’ll pick you up.” I haven’t felt this good since we left Colorado.

  “I’ll meet you there. Aces?” she questions.

  “Yeah, are you sure?”

  “You have to get ready, but I’ll be in the crowd, just look for me.” She kisses my neck.

  “Are you kidding? You’ll be lucky, if I don’t drag you on stage to sit on my lap while I play.” I chuckle, happy to see when she does too.

  “I’ll see you there, I better get in before my shift starts,” she glances at her watch and kisses my cheek.

  I wait until she goes through the doors before I turn around and make my way down the sidewalk. Suddenly my phone dings and a wide smile crosses my face when her name appears.

  Kailey: Have a good day, stick boy. (Get it...drums LOL)

  I shake my head in humor before my fingers start sliding across the screen in response.

  Chapter 7

  Time has never gone by so painfully slow. After I snatched a seat next to Kailey in photography class, much to her friend Heidi’s displeasure, I walked her to work, where she promised she’ll meet me at Aces tonight. Not sure why her redheaded friend Heidi hates me so much, but she was less than thrilled when she saw me with Kailey in class. She doesn’t look like my usual type, so I’m praying I’ve never done her.

  The minutes seem to be ticking by slower and slower the closer it gets to our show. For the first time in I have no idea how long, not a drop of alcohol has crossed my lips. I want to be completely sober when I’m with her tonight. My bedroom is clean and ready, hoping she’ll come back with me, even if only to sleep.

  Aces is packed when we arrive, wall to wall people. Obviously, the students are ready to party after being away from campus for spring break. Sadie and Jessa are already in our usual round booth closest to the stage. Brady nestles in one side and Grant on the other, leaving Dex and me to follow. My eyes search the door every few minutes, finding nothing but half-dressed girls and guys with wide eyes ogling them. Checking my phone again, Jessa’s hand reaches on my forearm. “She’ll be here,” she says, and I look up to find the whole table’s eyes on me. When did I become the only fish in the bowl?

  Just then, Brady hops up and announces it’s time. We leap on the stage and just as I sit behind the drum set, I spot her. She’s walking through the throngs of people, nudging her way through. She taps Sadie on the shoulder and the two girls slide in, so she can join them. When her eyes finally land on me, I wink, and her bright smile back has me fumbling my drumsticks. I pick them up and then my phone vibrates in my pocket.

  Kailey: Butter Fingers?

  Having zero time before Brady starts us off, I quickly type back.

  Trey: I’ll butter you up, anytime! ;)

  Brady turns around, and I raise my sticks in the air to count off. Right before I pound them on the drums, I spot her giggling up at me and tucking her phone away. For the remainder of the show, my eyes land on her often, eager to find out if she’s enjoying herself. Her head bounces and I see her dancing around in her seat, while singing the words. Every once in a while she leans into Sadie and Jessa to talk to them. With one last song left, I catch a guy c
ome up to her and whisper something in her ear. Shit, upon closer inspection, I know him. Nate fucking Gibson. I wonder if he already knows I’ve staked my claim. His ridiculous need to compete with me usually has him chasing anyone I’ve been with or any chick I’m about to get with. To his credit, he’s beaten me a time or two. The difference this time is I never cared before, not like I do now. Jessa leans over Sadie and says something to him, but he raises his hand in the air. Grant turns my way, surely seeing the same scene unfolding as me. Kailey gives him a smile and shakes her head. Good girl, I think to myself. Then the asshole slides into the booth, caging her in with his body. Kailey stares up at me, worry in her eyes, and I’ve never wanted down from this stage so badly in my life. Knowing the song by heart, my hands continuing playing while I intently keep my eyes on them.

  Once the song ends, I throw the sticks to the ground and jump off the stage. Luckily the crowd cleared out of the way when they saw me coming. My footsteps deliberate, I stop at the edge of the table and my eyes land right on Nate. “Get the fuck out,” I demand, and he chuckles up at me.

  “Oh, you thought you could keep this one all to yourself?” he questions with humor in his voice.

  “She’s mine,” I say through clenched teeth, not even bothering to look in Kailey’s direction.

  “Sorry, Michaels.” He stands up, and I thank God he’s finally getting the point. “I’ve already had her. Just remember, you’ll be enjoying my sloppy seconds.” He continues to laugh while walking away. My eyes fall to Kailey, who turns her head down, staring into her lap.

  Sadie and Jessa remain silent, slowly scurrying out of the booth. Shit, I’m fucking floored by this. Not that I thought she was a virgin, but she’s been that douchebag. “Is it true?” I ask her.

  “Uh huh,” she confirms in a whisper. Looking around, I look for the first thing I could punch that wouldn’t break my hand. My fist slams on the table, and she jolts back.

  “Fuck!” I scream, and she flinches again. “Shit, I’m sorry Kailey. Of all people you’ve been with, it’s just—him?” I scoot in next to her, but she moves further around the booth. “Kailey,” I sigh, pissed at myself for allowing him to get me so worked up, just like he wanted.

  Then Kailey’s vision lands on someone else coming to the booth. Assuming it’s one of the guys, I turn and release an annoyed breath. “Leave, Bridgette,” I instruct her, but she slides in next to me.

  “Am I interrupting something?” She flirtatiously rubs her hand across my neckline. The same spot Kailey rests her hands on when she kisses me. Kailey stares at Bridgette in disgust. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Bridgette, and you are?” She holds out her hand across the table toward Kailey. Kailey glances down at the fake finger-nailed hand and arches her eyebrows up to me.

  “Leaving,” she says and escapes the booth.

  “Kailey!” I yell, pushing against Bridgette.

  “What the hell, Trey?” Bridgette stays in place, so I slide across the semi-circle to the other side. Once I’m up, I spot her head about to make it to the door. Running through the bar, I hear people’s annoyed yells as their beers spill onto the linoleum floor from me bumping into them.

  The chilled air hits my face as I peer around with panic, looking for any trace of her in the streets lined with students enjoying their Friday night. I finally spot the lone brunette at the corner. Not allowing my feet to stop, I sprint like I used to for first base, my mind on only one object, her.

  Grabbing her elbow, I whip her around to face me. Her eyes are swollen and red while her cheeks are filled with tearstains. “Kailey,” I sigh, but she turns around and stomps up the cement hill.

  “How could I be so fucking stupid? That Trey Michaels would want me?” She screams into the night air as I follow like a lost puppy at her heels.

  “Bridgette is nothing,” I argue, and when she turns around, I stumble back to her closeness. The sadness from moments ago has now replaced with anger.

  “Save it, Trey. I know you’ve been with her. I’ve seen you with her before,” she informs me, and then flips around continuing her way up the hill.

  “I never said I hadn’t, but she’s not what I want,” I reveal the truth, but she’s insistent on ignoring me.

  “Why? Why do you want me?” She stops again and walks right up to my face. “I wonder, Trey, because you never noticed me before. Photography hasn’t been our first class together, we’ve had others, but you’ve never even given me a second glance, let alone wanted anything from me before now.” She pokes me in the chest, and I step back. “Am I some conquest now because I told you I was going to use you to forget my life?” The tears begin to build in her eyes, but I see her deep swallows and small shutters, attempting to push them back.

  “I’m sorry I never noticed you before, Kailey, but I see you now. You’re all I see...all I want. You have to believe me. No girl comes close to what you do to me.” Taking her hands in mine, I bring her hand to my heart. “You are the first to make this beat with the excitement at the thought of having something I never thought I wanted. It’s only you, Kailey.”

  She bites her lower lip, allowing my words to sink in. “What about Nate Gibson?”

  “I don’t give a shit. I mean, I wish you never had, but we can’t change our pasts,” I answer as honestly as possible, even if the thought of him with her begs me to punch the brick wall to my right.

  Closing her eyes, she turns and walks up the hill, away from me again. Finding a park bench, she sits down and weeps into her hands. I hear her sniffles and deep breaths. “Like—I said—you scare me, Trey,” she stutters out.

  Placing my arm around her shoulders, I pull her into me. “You scare me too,” I say. “I’ve never felt this and it scares the shit out of me. But I want to try. I’m willing to put myself out there, praying like hell it doesn’t hurt in the end.”

  “My life, Trey—it’s not typical. I’m not the average college junior. There’s things—.”

  “It won’t change anything,” I assure her truthfully.

  She sits up, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep. Hand me your phone.” Her voice now steady.

  I dig my phone out and place it in her hands. She types in a few things and hands it back to me. “Meet me at this address tomorrow morning at ten. I’ll tell you everything, and then you can make your decision.” She reaches over and gives me a quick kiss before standing up and walking away from me again.

  Kailey

  It takes every ounce of my willpower not to stay on that park bench with Trey. The fear that if I succumb to my desire and sleep with him now, knowing his interest will most likely wane, keeps me walking. Although it was never my intent to get involved in a relationship with Trey, it’s something I can’t seem to stop craving now. That’s why he scares me. The jealousy that boiled inside of me when that blonde placed her hand at his neckline came so suddenly, it was all I could do not to reach across and scratch her eyes out.

  That’s why he has to know about my sister and my responsibilities to her family. To understand if he gets involved with me, he gets involved with them. He’ll be getting a girlfriend with barely any time, unless he wants to hang out with three kids at a park or with their dying mother. I’m sure he’ll run after he finds all of that crap out, and then I can begin to erase him from my mind like chalk on a chalkboard. Of course, it might be more like marker on a wall, but eventually with persistence he’ll vanish. Dropping out of school in order to avoid him would help, but at this point, I don’t have much of a choice anyway. My sister has limited time left on this earth, especially since my last ditch effort for experimental treatment in Colorado failed miserably. There’s another thing I need to come clean to Trey about, the real reason I was there.

  Climbing into my Honda Civic, I start it up and drive home alone. I thought I would be in Trey’s arms tonight, even if we just made out with heavy hand roaming. But our relationship turned course again, so here I am looking
like the indecisive girl he thinks I am. I pull into my apartment complex that I pay too much rent for when I’m barely ever there. Noticing Kim’s car not around, I’m happy I’ll be by myself tonight. She’s no doubt out screwing some guy.

  She’s the one responsible for bringing me to Aces. The first one who exposed me to The Invisibles. She chased Brady forever until finally giving up hope when Sadie never left his side. Brady never seemed like one to sleep around. Not like Trey, or Dex for that matter. Which reminds me of when I first saw Trey. In a corner by the bar with some girl pressed against the wall. I watched him devour her body, like I was some sick stalker girl, but it wasn’t his looks, or his actions, that kept my eyes glued. Actually, it wasn’t until they switched spots that my vision couldn’t veer away. It was how unemotional the whole thing seemed. Trey made the right sounds and his hands roamed where they should, but his eyes swam across the bar while he did it. Never closing his eyelids once and never with a look of enjoyment across his face. When he caught me staring, he winked and smirked, making me immediately concentrate on my drink.

  From that point, I became fixated on why he did what he did. Kim would take me to Aces every week trying to put the moves on Brady. Every week Trey was with someone else, but all the same movements, all the same noises and eyes always open. Then I found him in my class last semester and was drawn to him even more because of his fun and easy going side. He was always chatting away with everyone around him, joking around, like they were all his long-time friends.

  So, when I spotted the band in the airport, I wanted to appear aloof, uncaring when Dex came over and showed me attention. Dex really was intriguing, but I already had something burning inside of me for Trey. I thought that would be my time for a mindless screw a few times during the one week I’d had any free time, since my sister was diagnosed with cancer last year. But everything shifted, and I couldn’t do it, I wanted more than one night.