Familiar Ground Read online

  “Oh, babe, I missed you so much.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer.

  “Hey, Jason.” I peek over his shoulder, and the whole table blatantly stares at us. “Can we go somewhere alone?” I ask softly.

  “Yeah, do you want to go to my place or yours?” He grabs my ass and kisses my neck. I wiggle in his arms to get away, but it’s no use, since he’s stronger than me.

  “I meant like that table over there or outside.” He finally pulls away, and his forehead creases.

  “What is it, Leah? Is something wrong?” He grabs my hand and leads me to an empty table in the back.

  “I just need to talk,” I answer.

  We sit down at the small two-person table while fellow students carry on their own conversations around us. Jason’s table went on to what I imagine is some superficial conversation of their own.

  “Leah?” Jason asks.

  Quickly, shaking my random thoughts, I focus on him. “Jason, I have to talk with you, and I want you to hear me out before you say anything, okay?” I ask.

  “All right,” he replies. Those clear blue eyes show such concern and worry.

  “Our relationship has been strained since Dani came into my life. I know it isn’t the life you want. You don’t want to be a father figure or have a three-year-old around you all the time. Not being able to go out and party Thursday thru Saturday. You didn’t sign up for this, and that’s okay, but I have to do this, for Dani and my brother. I’m in it for the long run.”

  “It’s okay, Leah, we can work this out,” he counters.

  “No, we can’t, Jason. See, you’re happy to continue our relationship with your life remaining the same and mine the only one changing. You continue to go out with your friends, and I stay home and watch Dani. You come and visit me when it’s convenient. I can’t do that. My life changed the day I said yes to Shane, but I don’t want a life where my boyfriend can’t stand to be around my niece. Where he comes around late at night to sleep with me only to leave as soon as she wakes up. I want more, Jason.”

  “Is someone else giving you the more?” he sneers.

  “He has nothing to do with this Jason. No matter what, it would have come to this,” I say. I know I can’t deny my connection with Adam, but I’m doing this for myself, not him.

  “So, the uncle is giving you the more?” Anger builds, and I begin to get nervous on how this will go, so I start fidgeting with my fingers.

  “Jason, come on. Our lives are going in two different directions, that’s all,” I plead with him to understand.

  “You’re going to leave me for some piece of shit blue collar worker? Fine, Leah, have it your way. I bet you will come running back once he takes you for all your money and you’re broke. Let me save you some time. Don’t bother. I’ll never take you back. It’s over,” he spats at me. Getting up he slams the chair into the table, and my body jumps.

  “Well, that was mature,” I mumble to myself and stand up. The girls stare over at me with looks of happiness splashed across their face. You girls can have him, I think to myself.

  Turning around, I’m thrown back when I notice two familiar faces, peering over at me. Adam smiles, and Marcus raises his hand in a thumbs up. Great to know I had bodyguards in case things went south. I give them a small wave and leave the student center. Once I’m out the doors, my phone beeps.

  Adam: So, it’s done?

  Me: It’s done.

  Adam: Good to know. If you need me call me…you know…as a friend.

  Me: Thanks

  Adam: Anytime friend.

  I’d expected Jason to call me, fight for me, but he never did. It surprised me how at peace I was with it.

  A few days later, Dani and I arrive at the train station without much time to spare. Getting myself and a toddler ready for a five day trip has to be similar to running a triathlon, or so I assume. Every time you finish one task, there’s another waiting and you never feel like you’ll reach the finish line. By the time we get into the cab, I’m breathless and sweaty. Adam had sent me a text when we were on our way and told me he’d already bought our tickets.

  “Uncle Adam!” Dani runs toward him as soon as he comes into our sight. What is it with them? You would think she’s known him her whole life. I’m this girl’s primary guardian, and the most I get from her is a hug and kiss goodnight.

  “Dani.” Adam picks her up, encasing her in his arms while swinging her around in a circle. After he puts her feet back on the ground, my damn stomach flips when I take him in. My breath hitches, and my feet pause for a moment making people move along each side of me. He’s wearing faded jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt that’s taut around his built chest and then lays loosely over his tapered stomach. He has a hat on backwards, making him appear like a carefree college student.

  “Hi, Adam.” I wave my hand while pleading with my feet to step forward like normal.

  “What? No jumping in my arms? I promise to catch you.” Adam smirks and holds out his arms.

  I smile, secretly wishing I could feel the warmth of those arms around me and maybe a peck onto those luscious lips currently turned up in my direction. You could if you weren’t such an idiot. Friends aren’t going to work for long if you can’t control your reactions to him, I repeat to myself.

  “Let’s go, we’re running late,” Adam says, letting me off the hook.

  Dani grabs Adam’s hand in one and mine in the other while Adam gives us directions on where we’re going.

  “Did you know there’s a restaurant on the train?” he asks Dani.

  “Really? Did you hear that, Auntie Leah? A restaurant,” she says, looking up at me in awe.

  “I know, it’s called a dining car,” I inform her.

  “Car? I thought it was a train?” Dani looks up confused.

  “Oh, sweetie, they call each section of the train a car.” I glance at Adam, and we start laughing.

  “Oh,” Dani excitedly says, jumping up and down while walking to the train.

  Once we get on the train and find our seats, Dani wants to sit by the window, so I sit on the aisle, and Adam sits across from Dani on the window side as well. When the train starts moving Dani grabs my hand, but once it smooths out on the track, she eases her grip almost immediately. She and Adam look out the window talking about everything that passes us by. Once we’re out of the city limits, farms with cows and horses landscape our journey. All the open land astonishes Dani. Confused, she asks Adam where all the tall buildings are.

  After an hour or so, Dani says she’s hungry, so Adam gets us a table in the dining car. Dani wants a grilled cheese sandwich and fries, Adam orders a cheeseburger deluxe and fries, and I ask for a salad.

  “Please, tell me you aren’t one of those salad girls?” he asks after the waitress walks away. Dani’s curious eyes peek up at me, waiting for my reply along with Adam’s.

  “No, I mean I like salad. What is wrong with salad?” I question in defense.

  “Nothing is wrong with salad, I just find it funny how some girls will order a salad and then when no one’s looking inhale a big cheeseburger.”

  “Well, that isn’t me. I eat whatever I want when I want it, and tonight I want a salad.” I say while placing the napkin in my lap like a high society debutant. Damn him and his correct assumptions. He caught me trying to act like I don’t have an appetite.

  “Okay, sorry if I offended you.” At this point Dani’s head is going back and forth between the two of us like it’s a tennis match.

  “You didn’t offend me, but I find no harm in keeping my body in shape and healthy.”

  “Don’t worry, your body shape is perfectly healthy.”

  I ignore his comment, mostly from the awkwardness and try to get Dani interested in what’s going on outside. But, since darkness fills the windows and she can’t see anything, I pull out a coloring book and crayons for her to keep her entertained. She starts to color while Adam and I discuss movies, music, and the courses I’m taking at school. />
  Dinner is about as good as I can imagine it would be from a train car, but it did the job of filling our stomachs. When we get back to our seats, Dani quickly dozes off with her head in my lap. The quiet that resonates between Adam and me could be sliced with a knife. Usually conversation between us flows easily, but we’ve only been together twice without Dani as our buffer, and we were busy putting furniture together one of the times.

  “Why don’t you lay her down and come sit next to me?” Adam asks.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, contemplating how good of an idea that would be.

  “What? Oh come on, my hands won’t leave my sides,” he kids, placing his hands palms down on his knees. One problem, I wish they would.

  I slowly lift Dani’s head and place it on my jacket and move over next to Adam. Everything in me screams to stop. Almost as if my body is moving without me.

  “Are you nervous?” he asks me in a hushed voice, conscious that now that it’s dark outside most of the people around us have fallen asleep.

  “Well, don’t we think highly of ourselves?” I tease.

  He laughs, and my stomach flips. “I wish you were nervous around me, but what I meant was seeing your brother.”

  “Oh…sorry.” Heat rises up my neck. “Yeah, I am. This will be the first time I’ve seen him with Dani, besides the night he dropped her off. I don’t know what to expect.”

  “Do you remember him clean?” he asks.

  “It’s been awhile, at least clean for more than a couple days. To be honest, I haven’t seen him much the past four years, except when he needed money.” I fidget with my fingers lying in my lap. Picking the skin around my nails is a habit of mine when I’m nervous.

  He grabs my hand, and liking the comfort, I don’t pull it away. “The same with Cassi. I wish every day I would’ve done more the last time she came to me.” He studies our hands entwined, clearly remembering the moment. I brush my thumb back and forth along his finger, trying to convey non-verbally that I can relate to how he feels.

  “I don’t think it would have mattered what you did or said, she wouldn’t have stopped.”

  “I tell that to myself, but it’s hard to believe.” His voice quivers.

  “I completely understand where you are coming from.” I’m struck again with how much we have in common when it comes to our siblings.

  “Does Shane know I’m coming?” he asks. I’m sure wanting to change the subject.

  “I mentioned it to him this week. He seemed a little worried. I mean, he seemed nervous after I told him.” I wasn’t going to mention that Shane asked me not to bring Adam with me, but when I told him Jason was unable to take us, he finally relented, so Dani and I wouldn’t have to travel by ourselves. Then he asked to speak with Dani and ended the conversation there.

  “Maybe because we don’t know much about each other. The first time I met your brother was when he called me to tell me about Cassi and I met him at the morgue.” His body shivers while his hand trembles in mine.

  “Do you ever wonder how Shane and Cassi were able to have this relationship and Dani with neither family knowing anything about it?” I ask.

  “I have gone over it a zillion times in my head, trying to remember something little that I should have picked up on. She would come to me for money, but never mentioned anything about Shane or Dani. I just don’t know how they took care of her, and it scares the shit of me to think what she’s seen or what they did with her when they were getting high,” he says with regret permeating his voice.

  “One of my goals this weekend is to get more details out of Shane. I was in such shock when he dropped her off that I didn’t ask any questions.” I begin to yawn, but try to hide my opening mouth from Adam.

  “Go to sleep, Leah. We still have a couple hours, I’ll wake you when we get there.”

  “It’s fine. I can stay up,” I attempt to assure him, yawning again.

  “You have a hard time listening to directions, don’t you?” He smiles. “Go to sleep.” He squeezes my hand and then releases it.

  My hand instantly chills without his touch. “Thank you,” I graciously say.

  “Hey, it’s nothing”

  “No, I mean, for everything. Thank you for coming with us. I don’t think I could have done this alone.” I place my hand over his that’s resting on his thigh.

  “Really, Leah, it’s my pleasure.” He leans toward me, but stops suddenly, pulling back again.

  Shit! Why did my body lean? It’s like it just reacted until my mind could tell it to cut the crap out. Now, I’ve probably scared the shit out of her. Way to blow it, Adam.

  Leah’s head falls on my shoulder after about ten minutes, so I allow myself the luxury of inhaling the vanilla scent of her shampoo. The golden strands are like silk caressing my cheek. Dani is sprawled out on the two seats across from us while the pitch-black world passes by us. If someone had told me last week I’d be here with Leah and Dani, I wouldn’t have believed them. I can’t imagine the spectrum of emotions Leah is going through. Seeing her brother clean and sober for the first time in years must be scaring the crap out of her, along with the hope that he remains drug-free at the same time realizing it’s a small percentage of addicts that make it.

  Above all, I want to be here for Leah and Dani, but I also have my own agenda. I want more information from Shane. There are questions that need answers. Being able to spend more time with Dani and Leah is an extremely extra bonus.

  Leah shifts next me nuzzling her face closer into the crook of my neck. Her hot breath has me begging myself to keep me at bay, but, God, do I want to kiss her. I wonder what she tastes like, or how soft her lips would feel against mine. The struggle to resist her is slowly becoming unbearable. As much as I confirm her assertion that we should stay away from a romantic relationship, that Dani needs us, and if it doesn’t work out, it will turn Dani’s life upside down again, but damn Leah is irresistible. Her beauty is what captured my interest all those weeks ago. But the more she reveals behind those built up layers, I’m finding out what an incredible woman she is on the inside as well. Why couldn’t I have met her just a few weeks ago before all of this happened? We must have been on the same campus for three years, how come our paths never crossed sooner?

  Just before midnight, we pull into the train station.

  “Leah, we’re here,” I whisper, nudging her shoulder a little.

  “Huh?” She looks up and takes in her surroundings. “Oh…sorry for falling asleep.” She wipes the side of her mouth and gasps at the sight of drool on my shirt.

  I chuckle slightly at her reaction. “It’s nothing, just wait until you hear me snore tonight.”

  “Gosh, Adam, I’m so embarrassed. I don’t even know what to say.” An instant flush of red fills her cheeks.

  “There isn’t anything to say, it leaves a little bit of you with me.” I smirk.

  She scrambles to grab her and Dani’s belongings, not acknowledging my comment. “Wait, did you say I would hear you snore tonight?” She scrunches her forehead at me.

  “I booked the hotel room, but they could only give us one room due to all the families coming for the counseling.” I stand up to collect our things and pick Dani up. “Let’s go, it’s getting late, and we have to be there by ten tomorrow morning.

  “Did you call other hotels?” Leah questions not moving from her seat.

  “It’s a small town, Leah, there are only two hotels, and yes, I called both. You can sleep with Dani in one bed, and I’ll sleep in the other. Now, come on.” I motion my hand towards me. Dani attaches herself to my body with her arms and legs wrapped around me like a koala bear.

  “Okay, but there are going to be some ground rules when we get there,” she says finally, standing up to lead the way down the aisle off the train.

  “You can make all the rules you want.” I laugh. She turns her head to the side, giving me an evil eye.

  I could crawl into a hole and hide away forever. First I drooled on his ca
r and now on his shoulder. Shoot me now, could it be more humiliating? I have to give it to Adam, he takes it all in stride, almost finding it humorous. Jason always seemed okay with it, but then tried to laugh off a comment about his shirt being ruined later on.

  We get off the train, and Adam takes control of the situation once again. He grabs our bags, puts them onto a cart, and starts to push it all while holding Dani until I insist on taking over. When I say insist, I have to physically remove his fingers one by one and push ahead of him. He already has the rental car reserved. Resting Dani on the counter with her head still on his shoulder, he retrieves his wallet out of his back pocket. Even after I make several attempts to pay, he won’t hear of it. This take charge Adam has made him even more appealing to me. He’s watching over and taking care of Dani and me. I’m usually always the one controlling situations, but there’s something to be said for sitting back while someone else takes the reins. It feels good to not have to worry about such mundane things when so many bigger issues are running rampant in my head. Glancing over at Adam driving the car that he reserved to the hotel that he booked from the train that he bought tickets made me want to jump on top of him and kiss him senseless.

  It’s after two in the morning by the time we pull into the hotel parking lot. I can’t imagine how tired Adam must be, since I don’t think he napped on the train. He doesn’t flinch before he turns the car off and climbs out to check us in to the hotel. He returns and drives the car to the far entrance. After we park, Adam pulls Dani out of the car seat and lays her on one of the beds in the hotel room before going back to retrieve our bags.

  I position a sleeping Dani still in her clothes under the blankets and then go into the bathroom to change. I’m thankful I brought my Capri pajama pants and t-shirt to sleep in, instead of my boxer shorts and camisole. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and then venture into the small room I’ll be sharing with Adam for the next four nights. He’s stretched out on the bed with the television on some sports newscast on mute. When I exit, he jumps up to take my place in the bathroom, tossing me the remote.